di mana?

1. final exam sudah past.

2. keje baru sudah mula.

dua situasi diatas adalah sangat membahagiakan hati. cuma ada sedikit hiccup yg belum di selesaikan. hujung minggu ini adalah hari presentation report assignment yg belum di mulakan lagi penulisannya.

kerja di tempat baru macam best. jawatan pon macam best. cuma kena bersedia korban masa sendiri. u want a bigger gain, u have to make a lot of sacrifices. compromises. kerja di office baru macam tak ada penghujung. boleh kata banyak juga current projek. incoming jangan cerita lah. my first assignment adalah sangat sukar. kena buat guidelines untuk pekerja sektor pembinaan. bukan sedikit pulak tu. takpe. ini lah cabaran yg kena dilalui untuk berjaya. belum pon mula first assignment, dah 3 tugas lain masuk to-do-list. asap. memang berasap..

3. hati sudah berbunga. tapi ngilu tertusuk duri.

situasi diatas adalah tak berapa menggumbirakan. masalah adalah hati terpaut pada kepunyaan orang. anak awang. apa nak kira. si dia belum ada ikatan apa pon. cinta siamang barangkali. lantas dengan selamba mengaku suka pada si dia. respon yg diterima boleh lah. cuma not accessible at the moment. feedback adalah sangat mesra. mungkin si dia memang jenis flirting. layan baik semua orang. ntah lah. wahai hati jangan mudah tunduk. stay put. owh mudah nya berkata tetapi tidak senang dibuat. but u cannot turn off your emotions with a remote control like switching off a love drama on the televie. haiiihs. kesukaran. sendiri lagi.

confessions

1. i am tired. psychologically, physiologically, burn-out.
2. i am worried on the coming final exams.
3. i am uncertain on which career path should i take.
4. i am lonely. i need someone to love.
5. i am broke.

homeostasis

menulis. lama sudah aku tak menulis. sibuk kerja tak juga. sibuk belajar tak juga. entah apa yang mengekang aku dari menulis, aku pun tak tau. tapi harini aku rasa nak menulis. so, here i am thinking what to rumble & mumble

a lot of things happened since my last entry. too much to tell but i'll jot down what i think is interesting to share. a tell tale story of me. every time i'm here. something must've happened. and since i don't have anyone to share with. i'm writing it, at least it could ease the burden a bit.

i'm stressed. really. but not to the extend being crazy and what not. it's just that since i started working with my current employee, i'm stressed by the anonymity of my job. fuck it hard. for the past six month i've been living like hell. changes in sleep pattern are a classic sign of stress. i can't focus and i've lost attentiveness. so i resorted to look for a new one.

the past few weeks i've attended no less than 5 interviews. each time looks promising. but nothing came tru tho'. but i won't give up. last week i went for another one. they verbally offered me a job as an ESH consultant few days later after the interview. wow. this sounds very interesting to me. but i've to meet with the Group Financial Controller first. so there i was, being interviewed with GFO lady. with my offer letter on the table. i can see my name on it. but she said hold on. i've to wait for the Director to sign it first.

oh God. menanti itu memang menyeksakan. but i'll stay put. and positive. i hope i can secure this job. if i stay in my current job any longer. i'll definitely gone crazy and eventually be sent to mental rehab. hahaha

26. a year past the silver jubilee. ones should have something good by now. but here i am. still struggling with my life. my studies. my career. i'm not really sure what i'm doing at the moment. i've a plan, but a vague one. i've to change for the better. aku kena berubah.

owh..it sounds so nice. a bit cliche i supposed. easier said than done.

final exam is just around the corner. i can imagine the pressure coming in. suppose i'll get hired for the new job. i'll serve my remaining days in the starting of the exam. and i'll be sitting for papers in the midst of the new job. stressful indeed. paramount i presumed. mati lah macam ni

my love life doesn't seems to evolve. yet. if i tell anyone new that i don't have a girlfriend for the past 26 years. nobody will believe me. fuck them. it's the truth. and each time i got the same comments. "u're being too choosy, chap". memilih sangat. takde insuran punya mulut. gua chili baru taw. the fact is, i sux at asking someone for a date. i don't have the skills. fuck me.

i need help. buntu. kosong. duduk peluk lutut sendiri.

equilibrium

to be able to write an interesting blog, ones have to read one. the problem is.. i don't read other's blog that much nowadays. i used to do that some time agooo. i'm ancient. hahaha. those days i could read & read & read one after another, back and forth. maybe because life was much easier then, student lah katakan.. and being green headed doesn't help much either. i've nothing much to do other than going to class, makan, tido, chatting, flirting. rindu nye saat itu!

a little update won't do much harm after all. kan?

work stuff. it's been the 4th month now. if previously i have no idea what-the-hell i'm doing there. now i do. pretty much la kot. rupanya the company hired me to do one thing. one specific thing only. which was ditinggalkan dalam kegagalan oleh orang lama. that is to run the company's TPM. it's not an easy task to do. but i'll try my best. but the problem is.. i hate the place, the salary BUT i love the role of that job. it's like a manager's point of view. i'm at the highest ranking of the team with a few engineers and supervisors to help me run the program. and i have all the shopfloor for that purpose. HOW lah like that? we'll see in a month..maybe two. if i fail, i'll quit. if it's the other way around. i'll stay. probably until i finished my master's. that would be until March 2009.

cakap pasal master study, a lil update on that also. now it's almost the 3rd week of the second semester. having good marks for the 1st semester really helps boosting the motivation in me. am still elected to run the team as penghulu. being a penghulu really helps u to be at least known to some lecturers. i hope it will help with the grades also. huhu. now the director knows who i am since i've been emailing him regarding some issues with the program. a lil bit cerita on my subject for this semester. ergonomics. psychology I/O. occupational health management. environment & industrial law. pretty much a tough subject to study. all the text books are around 4 inch thick. banyak nak baca wehh! but being an engineering background student makes all the subjects really interesting. now i got to see from the management/HR point of view instead of technical's ppl p.o.v. really interesting. and fyi, i sit at the front. yes, at the very front of the class. in front of the lecturer's table. something that i would not do & laugh at when i was doing my degree then. i'm amazed by myself. hahaha. how much i have changed. well at least for the better. kan? i'm also tgh berkira-kira on what topic should i study for my master's research papers. although it's a management paper, susahnya masih ada. all the literature review, methodology, objective, etc is there. i'll have to go some jurnals/papers for that purpose. i've yet to see my supervisor. the dean has alloted a supervisor for each of us. bagus jugak,since i pon tak kenal who's who? i have few ideas for the paper. one is about tunnel fires. the other is ergonomics;thermal stress. and to study ppl's perception towards occupational safety&health. i've to present 'em all and discuss with my supervisor.

alamak..dah panjang sangat pulak. cukup lah dulu untuk entry nih!

i'm young at heart

on my 26th birthday. i had the most priceless birthday presents..

3.67 cgpa for my 1st semester

oh yes. nothing can beat that. priceless! ;)

aku ingin hujan

when the going gets tough, the tough get going...

sibuk dengan kerja.

pening dengan assignment.

risau dengan incoming final exam (19,20,26 Jan).

dua ribu lapan

oraitt, it's time to give an update to the sawangness of this blog. thank you & sorry for everybody who visited my blog. i know.. gila lama tak ada update. this a good way to kick off the new year, a new post indeed

2007.. goodbye. this is the year that really had its toll on my life. both good and bad. i can't changed whatever had happens but i can and will improvise for the better

i spend my new year on bed because i was just way too tired from the futsal try out few hours prior to midnight. it's the selection for representing my company. last time i had a futsal session was few months ago. lupa dah. so it was a blast. seronok gila la dapat tendang bola. i don't give a damn about the idea of going to see countdown fireworks. finish futsal around 11.30 pm. jalan was jam packed with people on the way back. so once sampai rumah just realized i had a few cut and bruises. tak perasa coz of adrenalin rush masa main. i was super painful masa shower. done and straight to bed. i had my new year celebration in my dreams. haha

let see what would be in my wishlist this year..

1. new job with BIG salary
2. A's for my final papers
3. someone for my ruang rindu
4. tba

i will be another year older this year. 26th. i hope i will be wiser in every steps i'll be taking this year. pray hard for that one